Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Week 16 Theme Choice 4

Week 16 Theme Choice 4


Choice #4 Week 16. Write about yourself as a writer--hopes and dreams, strengths and weaknesses, ambitions and failures; reactions to the semester, what changed for better or worse in your writing; course experiences, problems, positives.

Some people like to draw, paint, sing, jog daily, build things…..me, I like to write. Paper is my own little, personal (and inexpensive) counselor. I love finding small details unique and exciting and utilizing those discoveries in various poems, stories, and such (if only you knew the true speck of dust some of these stories stemmed from); it’s like a sick challenged of sorts that I’m obsessed with. I completely enjoy writing about my family, when one of them says to me, “I’m so bored, my life is so dull.” - I write a story about them; just to prove them wrong…all in good fun. It’s grand to capture memories on paper the way a photographer does with a picture; precious things and people fade and become lost if we don’t preserve those memories. Not too mention it is very exciting to write a piece and have it move someone…to tears – to laughter – or to be completely pissed off – whatever the emotion – it’s fun just to know you brought that on with your thoughts and crazy out looks. That’s how I feel anyway.

My weaknesses are retched; I procrastinate something wicked. There are times I am well aware that I do it…I tend to work best under pressure but then there are times that are just beyond my control. It’s a weaknesses that can prove to be beneficial or can really wear me down after countless sleepless nights working late hours to catch up on things.

Another horrid weakness is this dang cement block that hinders my vision and weighs down my writing hand – it can go on for days, weeks, even months and sometimes it is a great challenge to lift it off and work past it. I feel as though my imagination just up and leaves for Hawaii a few times a year.

It’s fortunate in ways that I am still - basically….learning to fly (so to speak) because I do not have many failures on my plate pulling me down. I was hoping to be proud of some great writing accomplishment before my father passed away but that did not happen…but I continue because what child does not want their parents proud of them and mum still enjoys when I read foolishness to her.

This class has been…what a good word for it….like a fine vinaigrette. If you always have your salad plain and never venture out for a little spicy variety then you will never improve the taste of the salad.

Some weeks I really got into doing, I liked the memories the prompts brought up – other weeks felt like trips to the dentist….but with every pulled tooth comes the fairy – right and all your comments and tips and such were like valuable gold coins….not saying you are like a fairy or anything. 

Honestly, any time I write and someone critiques it, I feel I’ve gained something….whether it is a new out look to a different approach, a bit more strength for handing judgments or whatever…but always something gained. I mean sometimes, especially with a nonfiction class, we really put ourselves out there – kinda like baring all.

Occasionally I wanted to comment on other people’s pieces in the class; there are some amazing writers in this group and it’s been quite enjoyable reading the variety of stuff. Other times, I would have liked to hear a few other opinions – specially on the pieces that you didn’t get…it would have been interesting to know if I was so far off – no one could get them or if it was just generation issues.

One of the biggest challenges I felt was the pressure of what to write and what not to, some weeks the lectures frightened me and I was like....ok – he doesn’t want this – this – this or this…so that leaves…this and there are already several good examples of “this” that I don’t want to copy so now I need to do….what again? Confusing. Exactly. Frustrating. Precisely. But fortunately you were not a stickler for requesting the assignments to be done by a certain date/time leaving opportunities for us to sleep on the lectures and really think about them for a while and work through all that.

Positive experiences…many! I honored a friend by writing a story about her life and her struggles, she had her family read it and that evening they all pitched in together to help her clean up the house and they all decorated the place for Christmas; that was a wonderful feeling. I read a few pieces to the sister who I worked with caring for our father during his last days and as I read we shared tears and memories and it was like our own form of therapy. Another sister who lives far away, I call frequently to read my stories to and we laugh and share together and it is very bonding and enjoyable. I could go on an on with the positives…I liked learning some of the different techniques to try. For example, after those torturous vignettes – a friend asked me to go watch the Nutcracker with her…but it was not the whole version it was only a vignette of it – so, finally – duh – got it! 

So, to sum things up – I have no regrets. I enjoyed this class a great deal. Though, I know there are other options that are probably financially more appealing, I want to do more writing classes, fine tune, polish, and simply just keep doing what feels natural. I feel you’ve done a great job as an internet teacher – it must be quite a challenge to keep things interesting and to keep up with all of us posting a dozen weeks at a time!  It’ll be interesting if we ever meet in person someday because over the course of this class I’ve developed my own impression on what sort of person I think you are – lol but I’ll save that for a creative fiction class. 

Thank you for everything.

P.S.

Choice 3 - I would love to tackle but, your right….just to scared, don’t know where to begin, how to begin and now…times up.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for these comments. Did you feel that you couldn't comment on other people's stuff? I think at one point I might have said something about doing it cautiously--commenting but not being harsh or negative (that's my job.) But I certainly would not have objected--should I make that clear next semester?

    Funny--another evaluator tells me I should show no leniency for late posts. For you, though, procrastination and all, it sounds as if it's the right approach.

    Glad the Nutcracker showed you in ballet shoes what my hiking boots failed to convey.

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  2. I was going back through the lectures trying to find where I thought you had mentioned not to comment on the other students work (I think I just misread something - that stinks to realize it now)...and what I found was a really funny idea for Week 15. I really feel for you and your job to teach us via the internet - hee hee, I counted several, "use this as a springboard", "these are not questions" "do not answer them". And you were so kind...going from calm black text, to red text to all caps red text. lol

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