After another horrid day, feeling very inadequate and underappreciated, I made a few calls and did some searches with Google. Cooks can make an average of $27,000 a year, childcare can run a family roughly $1,000 per child per month; maids charge approximately $80 per day and a part time secretary usually make about $8 an hour; based on this I should be bringing in something like $88,856 a year and this does not count in any of the other jobs I do. So, why do I still have to ask for $20 for gas for the week, or money for groceries, or a few bucks to take the kids out once in awhile?
How can anyone make a marriage work when you have just spent the last eight hours pulling your hair out watching two sick kids, home schooling another, doing your own class work, cooking, cleaning, tending to the animals and running errands alone - having to change crappy diapers with out baby wipes only to have your ‘partner’ (I’m using the term loosely) come home, after being gone all day (doing god knows what) with a new bow for the upcoming hunting season. Honestly, how much can one person handle?
We’ve all heard of or made up our own mnemonics for things; our names, the planets, things that will be on a test, or, the most common, ones for the words: mom and bitch (notice how often these words are used to describe the same person). It’s should not be a big shocker as to why, is it right, fair or kind…no (just my opinion). My sister Jane once said to me, “what can you live with?” She wasn’t asking me a question she wanted the answer to, she was telling me the question that I needed to be asking myself. So, what can I live with?
I know what I can’t live without, one being my extended family. We all need support in our lives, someone to turn to when times are tough, people that will help us to laugh at the worst times in our life, people that will share our pain and our joys…I get that from my extended family. The greatest part about this family is that anyone with an open mind can share them with me, they can be your family too! The head man is one pretty darn amazing man, he will walk with you and leave you to walk on your own; he will ask things of you, challenge you, make you laugh, make you cry and give you hope…I’m sure you know who I am talking about - the family I am referring to…. If you are thinking of “The Simpsons” (Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and all the other people on the show) you are 100% completely accurate. Who else could I have meant?
The Simpson’s, Bob (that’s Sideshow Bob) said, “Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?” Thou shall not kill is one of the commandments but so is thou shall not lie and that does not stop the world (our spouses) from telling more tales than a politician. I’m greeted daily with a, “Jesus Fucking Christ”; I have a time limit for how long I can be on the toilet, I must check in regularly (but not call too much), dishes have to be done, house cleaned, errands run, bills paid (even if I have none). Money grows on trees, you can indeed get blood from a turnip and I really can pull flying monkeys from my ass! Eighty eight thousand sounds pretty sweet and would be very nice (but you can’t pay for things with monopoly money) but honestly, what is the worth of all of this and, more importantly, what is the cost?
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ok...I don't like this. I'm not even comforatble posting it. It's tone (I think) but not one anyone wants to hear or read. It's like a jornal entry or the type of conversation you have with a friend when you need to vent. But this is part of the crap that has been in my head and I can't seem to clear it out and write the way I want to. Happy pieces feel to forced, sad pieces feel to sappy, angry ones come out bitter and confusing....I guess I'm feeling frustrated. Oh well...it's up, I think it's tone, just not a pleasant one. I remember something your wrote once - readers don't like to have things crammed down their throats (or something like that) How do you push through when 'you' are feeling consumed and all 'you' have to say (on a daily basis) is Fuck 'You'? (I don't actually mean you when I wrote 'you'.)
ReplyDeleteI can see this is all-consuming. It has its tone, and tones are allowed to shift within a piece, but I think the Simpsons' thing goes awry. Unless I'm badly misreading, you had a different father in mind than Homer and shouldn't have gone for the joke. After 'who else could I have meant?'--that was your chance to kick it up a gear and to take your own unhappiness seriously and making the piece about more than your personal misery--and you would do that by saying something along the lines of: 'Great as Homer is, I turn to a different Father in times like this.'
ReplyDeleteIf that wasn't a misplayed religious lead-in on your part, then obviously my comment is not relevant.
I have some more comments but I think I'll email them to you.
"I turn to a different Father in times like this."
ReplyDeleteBut I don't.
I will work on this, fix it, make it work. Thank you.
Ha, fooled myself. But no, you can't write a graf 2 only as a segue to Homer Simpson.
ReplyDelete