A challenge to work towards...

It's dark and dreary out this morning so I've spent an exceedingly large amount of time just playing on-line; not a good habit. However, while researching, I came across something that gave me a chill when I read it:

"Man is born to Die, His Works are Short-lived Buildings Crumble, Monuments Decay, Wealth Vanishes But Katahdin in All Its Glory Forever Shall Remain the Mountain of the People of Maine"

What is my passion for wanting to climb this mountain? I simply don't know but it doesn't change my desire to want to do it. I can see myself at the top, resting, viewing the world before me with the breeze cooling me down and the same chill I felt this morning when I read that quote, climbing up my spine and allowing a shiver to escape my body. Sitting upon mother earth will I feel her heartbeat? Will it be a feeling of accomplishment? Closer to the divine? A connection to the earth? Or will it just be?

I was reading a bit about Katahdin and read that it is very rich in Native American lore. The Native American tribes were wise beyond what man today will ever fully understand or appreciate; they would recognize the importance of working together, leaving pride behind and honoring all the souls for their connected contributes - so unlike man today.

This journey I feel I'm on with this weight loss, this search for a healthier happier me, I'm learning that I can not - nor should I try to believe - that it should be done alone....it is a tribe that helps carry us when our muscles rest. To think otherwise would be foolish...and I have thought otherwise thus the long rollercoaster ride I was once buying countless tickets to ride.

If I was to start dishing out 'thank yous' for the parts of my body that have already left me (like one of my extra butts) the list is already lengthy and I'm only half way there.

I've talked with others and hear them tell me about how hard they have worked to shed some pounds and control their diets and in their stories I hear a lot of "I", "me" and "my"....well, I don't doubt it - I believe they've worked very hard - heck I know I have but that's only a part of it. It took support, encouraging words (even unencouraging words), babysitting, cash, time, effort and so much more from friends, family, new acquaintances and even strangers. It's funny how so much ties together. Each day is a struggle, something new that I encounter and by the end of the day I've met a new person that I need to thank.

Today’s challenge was a Twinkie. Odd eh? I don't usually buy them or even allow them in the house but yesterday was Zac's birthday and his request was for Twinkies. Phoebe brought one to me this morning to open for her... my heart raced, pulse quickened and even a few droplets of sweat trickled down my brow. My mind thought of a zillion reasons not to eat it a zillion other reasons why it would be ok to just indulge. Bless (bless is a code word for shoot) the people who can simply indulge and gain no extra weight for doing so. Curse (curse is code word for reward) those of us who can not and have the will power to walk away. However, I feel a slight tremble as I write this...perhaps the battle is not over just yet. The Twinkie and I will perhaps still have our face off...till then I thank the extra children in my home for asking for Twinkies for breakfast.

So, the challenge I'm working toward....is it the hike up Katahdin or is it the hike along the rocky edge of my will power?